What is dating violence?
Dating violence is motivated by a need to dominate. It is the use of violent acts and or abusive behaviors: emotional, physical or sexual, by one person to gain power and control over another person in a dating relationship.
- Emotional abuse can involve verbal insults, threats, name calling, intimidating expressions or gestures, extreme jealousy, possessiveness.
- Physical abuse can involve pushing, slapping, hitting, punching, kicking, biting, burning, pulling hair, physically confining, striking with objects, assaulting with weapons.
- Sexual abuse can involve sexual relations without consent, unwanted touching, demanding or forcing sexual acts.
Drugs and or alcohol abuse, feelings of jealousy or suggesting that the violent incident was, “asked for,” by the victim are reasons often given by abusers to justify their acts of violence. Remember, there is never an acceptable excuse for abusive behavior.
Who are the victims?
Studies indicate that by the time they leave high school one in ten teenagers will experience at least one form of abuse in a dating relationship. For college students it increases to one in five! While incidents of dating violence against males do occur, 95% of reported incidents involve a male abuser and a female victim. These victims come from all races, religions and economic backgrounds. Amongst pregnant teens, 25% have experienced abuse in their relationships. Of these 40 to 60% report that the abuse began or escalated after their partner became aware of the pregnancy.
Dating Violence—Warning Signs
There is nothing romantic about being involved in an abusive relationship. Dating violence can lead to depression, isolation from family and friends and even death. Recognize if you, or someone you know, is in an abusive relationship. The warning signs of a potentially abusive person include:
- Extreme jealousy—demonstrates possessive and or jealous reactions to things you say or do.
- Isolation—attempts to keep you away from and or tries to destroy your relationship with family and friends.
- Loses temper quickly and is unable to control anger.
- Pressures you to have sex.
- Self-destructive behavior—abuses alcohol and or drugs, threatens suicide or self-harm.
- Is verbally abusive—name calling, humiliating remarks, put-downs, swearing.
- Use of violence—destroys property, uses force or intimidation to win arguments and be in control, has a history of bad relationships.
- Denies responsibility—blames others for violent acts and abusive behaviors.
- Lacks sensitivity—does not appreciate feelings and concerns of others.
- Displays insecurity and low self-esteem.
- Harassment—follows you around, makes uninvited visits and calls, constantly checks up on you.
Do not accept abusive behavior from anyone.